RUSHING! KILLER SPAM SCAM PORN FLOOD COMING!

Hold on tight, folks, because a massive tidal wave of spam is about to crash down on your email. We're talking atrocious amounts of scammy emails packed with sick porn. These losers are trying to cheat you out of your hard-earned dollars, so be totally vigilant. Don't click on any buttons in these emails, and report them immediately. Be smart!